Failed Relationships
Learning From Failed Relationships
Letting go of a potentially great relationship can be hard, but not all relationships are meant to last forever. Some people meet the love of their life early on and stay with them for a lifetime, but that happens less and less these days. Even true love can fail sometimes, as life has a way of making you miserable when you have made other plans. Failed relationships are hard and painful, but you can always learn something about yourself and others when you are faced with one. Learning can help you move on.
There is not always a good reason why a relationship fails. Sometimes, what we thought was love was something else, and after some time, that becomes clear. These failed relationships are usually based on lust, or perhaps they were based on friendship which the couple hoped would turn into passion, but never did. You can learn what you will and will not accept in a relationship, and when to turn away in the future to avoid the same problem happening all over again. The next time you have lukewarm feelings for someone that you know, deep down, are not going to turn into something else, you can take this knowledge and save yourself time and anxiety by saying no.
Relationships based on love are harder to get over when they are done. These failed relationships happen for many, many reasons. Perhaps you were just too different, and from this you learn that opposites may attract and fall in love, but they may not be good together in the long run. Couples can not be totally like each other either, as that can get boring. There should be a good balance so that each is contributing something different, but mutual interests and morals are involved. If he is an optimist and you are not, your relationship can survive if you learn from each other and meet in the middle.
Other times, failed relationships happened because one person underestimated or hurt the other. There are usually warning signs that things were not going well, something was being hidden, or the person was just not who the other thought they were. You can learn a lot about your judgment of others as potential mates and how much you really tune in to your partner from these types of failed relationships. It can be painful, but you will learn a lot about yourself when the pain starts to wane and you start to move ahead.
Looking back over failed relationships can help you make sure you choose the right relationship in the future. If you do not take the opportunity to ask what you could have done differently, you are going to make the same mistakes over and over again. Those that really learn from failed relationships are the ones that go on to successful and long term loves. They took the time to see where they needed to improve and they also learned about what they are willing to accept and what they should reject in the future. These revelations can be truly freeing.
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